Bagging a Bitch with Balls

Watching porn has given me a lot of ideas concerning what to do in bed--and elsewhere. Some of the guys and sluts in X-rated videos do it outdoors--in the woods, a park, poolside, or in a parked car. Some chicks flash their dicks--yeah, I watch shemale movies sometimes, too--in public places, and some women even wear thongs or go without panties altogether while wearing mini-skirts on windy days (with easily anticipated consequences).

By the time a man is in his thirties, if not before, he's most likely experienced anal, manual, and oral sex with a woman, and maybe even with another man. Finding a shemale is harder, because there are fewer of them, relative to the general population, so a guy may never get the chance to bag a bitch with balls.

I made it my goal to do just this, though, as soon as possible, so that I could, in turn, accomplish two fantasies related to shemales: fuck her up the ass and fuck her between the tits. I'd fucked a few genetic girls in their derrieres, finding the act delightful, but I'd never tit-fucked a woman--and I'd never had sex of any kind with a transsexual.

I'd read a lot about sex in Thailand, where transsexuals are supposedly openly accepted as such and do not fear exhibiting themselves in public. There is allegedly no bias, prejudice, or discrimination against ladyboys, or kathoeys, as they are known there. Thailand's economy isn't exactly robust, either, so it's said to be much easier to date--and mate with--a Thai transsexual than it is to do so elsewhere. In addition, most Asian transsexuals are petite, slender, and more feminine-looking than their American counterparts (although fewer are circumcised). I was all set to go to Thailand to find and fuck a tranny when my lawyer, an ex-girlfriend named Marsha Bradshaw, suggested that I visit the Philippines instead.

The Filipino economy is even worse than the Thai, Marsha reminded me, making an American, even in our currently depressed economy, wealthier than King Midas, with or without his ass' ears; the country is a tropical, if humid, paradise; and the Filipino people are both self-effacing and eager to please.