HELPLESS TO MY CRAVING FOR BLACK COCK

This is a totally true account of my addiction to meth and its hand in turning me into the he[pless sissy I've become to my weakness for BBC.
My name as a regular male is Richie Budd. But by reading this you'll soon realize that nothing is normal. Not only was I Richard Budd. I spent an equal, if not more of my life as a sissy girl. you might know me as TVTrinity or Sissy Trinity.
From the first time I partied and smoked the shit. I realized I was going to have to turn my dark, sissy fantasies into reality. Smoking the shit for some reason was a completely different high to me. I became super horny but in my case, I was surprised because I was horny in a feminine way. At first. All I wanted to do was dress up. But every time I partied with it. It took me to a more extreme place where I had to take myself to the next level. It made me push myself to go further into the rabbit hole.
It still amazes me how I got so into the whole QoS, BNWO, Black Superiority thing, and all the BBC Sissy caption blogs on Reddit Tumblr, and Bdsmlr. The Sissy Hypno vids were a big help with my quick jump to an obsession with becoming a Black cock worshipping sissy faggot! I've become a pretty much Black Cock Only Sissy. It turned me gay! Not just gay... A crossdressing sissy cum-loving, cocksucker, for Black alpha males gay!!! One or two pipe hits and my mind goes to that place which is usually reserved for white bimbo women. I've gotten so bad, I've turned most of my initial fantasies into reality already, but nastier fantasies keep flooding my perverted mind every time I get high still. The guys seem to know it is my weakness and take advantage of it too! But to be honest. I don't really know any real girls that have done the kind of nasty things I've been doing with men!
It also doesn't help that I'm only 5'5" with a small gurly ass, small size 8 women's size feet, and a tiny Lil, not even a bulge in my Lil panties cocklet! Being small and hot as a crossdresser is a big advantage!