My first experience

Forget to share second part, thats why i posted again.
I am a bisexual(passiv), i was born in muslim county and being bi is like crime. Thats why i never had any sex with a guy. I was just mastrubating and fingering my ass, sometimes was using cucumber . Finaly i had a opportunity to go Europe and study at the age of 29. When i arrive to France, first thing was being fucked but i was too shy. I didn’t show my face to someone. And my dream was, wear like a girl and get fucked so hard. So i found out that there is a app(grinder) to find someone. Then i ordered staffs from Amazon, like clothes, wig, string. Then i boocked an hotel for two person in other city. The city where i live, i had a friends and i didn’t take a risk. I arrived hotel and get cleaned (butthole). I weared like a girl. Fingered firs my hole, becouse it was first time and i could get hurt and can’t enjoy. Then i went to app and looked for someone. I am skinny with bubble but. Then guys was sending me dick and face photos. I sent them a photo of my ass, and no one belived. They said send face pic, and i said no, i cant. Finally i found a guy. I just turned all lights of, just the toilet door was a little bit open for light. I was shy. Then guy came, knocked door. I opened door and turned back and was going to bed. He just came behind me. Started grabing my ass and said, hell yea, i thought photo is not yours. The opened his zip, pushed me down to suck. I had no idea how to suck, he recognized it and said turn around. And started to eat my ass and holes. That was incredible. And then putted his dick to my ass. I got a lot pain in few seconds. He stared to fuck me like a machine. He said, make a noice like a bitch, but i was silent, i had no experience to act like a bitch. He was to fast, and i recognized that hard sex is not for me, at least in first time. I don’t feel anything, i can’t enjoy. I started mastrubate, to mey i can enjoy, but i didn’t enjoy even from the orgasm. Guy was doing very hard. I was saying do slow but he didn’t want it. He was holding my neck very hard, and with other hand my leg. He was at least 50 pound bigger than me and i was in terrible. i had only one way to wait his orgasm. After 15 minutes he finally came and just take on his pants and went. I was feeling regret. And was angry to me why i did that.